You combine deep openness with disciplined execution, deep introversion, low warmth, and high background anxiety, which produces a particular kind of inward high-stakes sceptical life; original, organised, solitary, unsentimental, and quietly running hot in ways that the wiring is uniquely poorly placed to relieve.
Producing original disciplined sceptical work in conditions of solitude that would distress most others, with the vigilance that catches what others miss and the unsentimental clarity that protects the catching from political revision. Few combinations produce work this difficult to dismiss.
You can mistake your sceptical anxious solitude for evidence that the world is genuinely as bad as your wiring tells you and that no relationships would survive your honest reading of them, when in fact the wiring is producing the verdict and the verdict compounds the isolation that feeds the worry. Some of what you sense is real; much of it is wiring.
In a culture saturated with performed warmth and theatrical engagement, your sceptical solitary brilliance reads as a kind of integrity. The very few who can stand the absence of warmth and the presence of edge and worry find someone whose mind is unusually free and whose work is unusually honest.
These sections are part of the personal report: